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Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Confessing My Own Thoughts | My Relaxed Hair, Transitioning, And Starting Fresh

I have reached 3 years natural! I'm excited about that because I have had some triumphs and doubts about my hair this past year. So to commemorate this special day, I will reflect on my pictures and entries, starting from the beginning:
My Hair Diary | My Mini Chop From Heat Damage

Wow! Just looking back at pictures of my relaxed hair makes me think, "Why did my mama have me get a relaxer?" I was 12 years old in the 7th grade (about 2002) when I first got my period and things changed quick.

I wasn't exactly the most excited growing woman ever, but what resonated in my ear the next moment would always make me think 'why?'..."You are a woman now! Now you can get a relaxer, sweetheart!!"

I never wanted a relaxer...I hated my relaxed hair...I wish I never gotten a relaxer...

...but I digress.

The Start Of My Hair Diary

I started my hair diary back in July 1, 2011 with the hopes of documenting everything from styles to products, happiness to sad days, and frustrations to triumphs. I wanted to be able to look back on my hair diary a few years from when I started to think, "That's where I used to be...I surely have come a long way." That when I started looking for old pictures of my hair. I went through my computer to find all the relaxed hair pictures I could find to add to my hair diary. I looked for length check photos, products I tried, and styles I wore. I found many from 2007 and 2008 to add at the beginning of my hair diary. My hair was just short, damaged, and nothing great to look at.

I had hatred for my relaxed hair and wanting to start fresh with natural hair. "...relaxed hair is the cause of my ends being damaged and broken...just so much damage...I want my natural hair back!"

I was full of determination and ambition to have healthy, natural hair. I even remember how sad I was during my junior high and high school days with my sad, relaxed hair.

No More Ambition

July 1, 2011 was only entry for my hair diary for about a year. I was so angry at myself, my mother, and anyone who had something to do with my hair. Why didn't my hair grow and be pretty like others I saw? My hair was not my identity, but I wanted my hair to enhance who I already was. I even tried to add color to be happy about my hair. But during those days, my hair was relaxed, colored, and damaged. I never thought I would have healthy and beautiful hair again...I absolutely had no more ambition to keep my hair diary going...so I gave up...

Try Again, Sista

April 1, 2012 is when I was rummaging through college stuff, after recently graduating, to what I wanted to keep or throw away. In a throw away box, I found my diary from July 2011 and read my entry. It were full of sadness, hatred, and defeat. During this time, my hair was cut into a tapered style with 3 inches on the top.

And that was my motivation to try again! I decide to start my hair diary again, but to be more strict with my entries. I decided to add everything: styles, products, feelings, issues, things to try, etc. I wanted what I set for myself a year earlier: to be able to look back on my hair journey a few years from now and say, "I surely came a long way...keep going." So that's what I did.

And again, I began searching for many photos of my hair as early as the years would go. I wanted to start my hair diary from where I came from to inspire myself to continue on. As I went through my computer, I found so many photos from different years that had the same tone: stuck...I promised myself that I would NEVER be in that situation again.

Natural Hair Journey
Relaxed to Natural
So here I am today 3 years natural (October 2012) and never wanting to get a relaxer ever again. I do get frustrated, overwhelmed, and tired of my natural hair, but who said this was going to be easy?

This is a hair journey.

Natural hair says: continue to learn more about your hair. This is definitely a journey, so there are no easy ways about this. However, don't make this journey hard either. Document notes, take pictures, and read other natural hair journeys. This will inspire you to continue on your own.

Always Desire Your Natural,

Christina J

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Desire My Natural is my personal blog.

The pictures and information provided are based off my own personal experiences and intense research of medical publications and articles, blogs, videos, and books for your enjoyment.

If you have medical issues or other conditions, contact your doctor or physician immediately.